A couple days ago I asked God to deliver me from my mother. She hasn't been nagging me so bad since then.
Update 09/21/09 - My mother has not been bothering me at all lately. Maybe God told her to stop!
9.03.2009
8.18.2009
Myself/Husband/House
Today I asked for patience and strength in dealing with the house and husband. I asked God to help my husband with his problem that causes him to hoard and work inefficiently.
Update 8/19/09- Here is the situation: We moved into my husband's house which is full of the junk he has hoarded and is filthy dirty with rats and I am just plain miserable. He does not want to throw anything away and stops me when I try. We have been fighting over this. The house also needs to be repaired before we can move the kids in. My son is staying with my parents and my stepson is at boarding school. We can't do repairs with the stuff in the way. The stuff has to go. I have been told my husband probably has OCD. I have discussed this with him and he refuses to get help for it. He does not think that he has a problem and living in squalor does not bother him. I am truly at my wits end and have been angry and crying every day.
After talking with friends yesterday and getting their advice, I made a list of everything that had to be done in the house and gave him deadlines. He agreed to it but we will see if it actually gets done.
Update 08/29/09 - Applicable scripture: "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other." - John 13:34
I admit I haven't been loving him very well lately. I have been angry with him about what he does and how he refuses to do anything about it.
After 10 days of living in that house, I moved in with my parents. A neighbor has since then reported that my husband was living there, so the city is insisting that he turn on the water and schedule an inspection. Now he wants to live there and pretend that he is not living there. BTW, he can't live with me at my parents' house per my dad. Now there is a feud between my husband and my father. It's really getting frustrating because my mother keeps inviting my husband over here and he keeps saying no because my father does not want him here. Mom won't leave it alone and Dad won't budge on his stance. My mother likes to nag me too. So I have to put up with that.
I am absolutely not happy about the situation right now. I am not happy with my husband and not happy with my parents. On top of all this drama going on, I'm trying to find a job. If I had a job, I could at least get an apartment and have some peace and quiet.
Please pray for me and my husband, that I will find work, and that he will recover from his hoarding problem, and that we will either find or create a suitable place to live.
Update 8/19/09- Here is the situation: We moved into my husband's house which is full of the junk he has hoarded and is filthy dirty with rats and I am just plain miserable. He does not want to throw anything away and stops me when I try. We have been fighting over this. The house also needs to be repaired before we can move the kids in. My son is staying with my parents and my stepson is at boarding school. We can't do repairs with the stuff in the way. The stuff has to go. I have been told my husband probably has OCD. I have discussed this with him and he refuses to get help for it. He does not think that he has a problem and living in squalor does not bother him. I am truly at my wits end and have been angry and crying every day.
After talking with friends yesterday and getting their advice, I made a list of everything that had to be done in the house and gave him deadlines. He agreed to it but we will see if it actually gets done.
Update 08/29/09 - Applicable scripture: "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other." - John 13:34
I admit I haven't been loving him very well lately. I have been angry with him about what he does and how he refuses to do anything about it.
After 10 days of living in that house, I moved in with my parents. A neighbor has since then reported that my husband was living there, so the city is insisting that he turn on the water and schedule an inspection. Now he wants to live there and pretend that he is not living there. BTW, he can't live with me at my parents' house per my dad. Now there is a feud between my husband and my father. It's really getting frustrating because my mother keeps inviting my husband over here and he keeps saying no because my father does not want him here. Mom won't leave it alone and Dad won't budge on his stance. My mother likes to nag me too. So I have to put up with that.
I am absolutely not happy about the situation right now. I am not happy with my husband and not happy with my parents. On top of all this drama going on, I'm trying to find a job. If I had a job, I could at least get an apartment and have some peace and quiet.
Please pray for me and my husband, that I will find work, and that he will recover from his hoarding problem, and that we will either find or create a suitable place to live.
6.29.2009
Prayer: Help with Depression
I prayed today for God to help me get over my depression. I have been rather down in the dumps since I was let go at the last house and I have trouble getting motivated to do things.
Applicable scripture: Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
I actually have that verse underlined in my Bible. Cool.
Update 8/29/09 - My depression has actually worsened since we moved out of the apartment this month. Read the entry "Myself/Husband/House" to find out what happened. I have a doctor's appointment next week and I'll talk to him about the depression, though I don't think antidepressants are the answer. I have had bad reactions to them in the past.
Update 9/03/09 - My doctor increased my Invega and I feel better, though a bit groggy throughout the day. I do think it is helping with my depression and anxiety though. I also think that getting a job helped pull me out of it too.
Update 09/21/09 - I am completely depression free now!
Applicable scripture: Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
I actually have that verse underlined in my Bible. Cool.
Update 8/29/09 - My depression has actually worsened since we moved out of the apartment this month. Read the entry "Myself/Husband/House" to find out what happened. I have a doctor's appointment next week and I'll talk to him about the depression, though I don't think antidepressants are the answer. I have had bad reactions to them in the past.
Update 9/03/09 - My doctor increased my Invega and I feel better, though a bit groggy throughout the day. I do think it is helping with my depression and anxiety though. I also think that getting a job helped pull me out of it too.
Update 09/21/09 - I am completely depression free now!
6.26.2009
Prayer: Timmy's School
I've been praying about where my stepson Timmy will go to school next year. Our only viable options are an Adventist boarding school and homeschooling. I really think the boarding school is the better option, but he does not want to go and wishes to be homeschooled. I think that is because he would like to play video games all day.
Anyway I've asked God if this is his will and to make it happen if it is. The boarding school is expensive but there is financial aid available, so maybe we can get it paid for. But I have to get all the paperwork in by Monday, and there is a lot to do.
Applicable scripture: Proverbs 3:6 - Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Update 6/29/09: I found out the paperwork actually doesn't have to be in until next Monday. I think the recruiter was putting a rush on it to make sure I got it done. But it is almost finished, and I'll have it in tomorrow. There is one problem: the old school refuses to forward his transcripts until we make payment arrangements for the past due school bill, and right now we have no idea how we will pay it.
Update 7/14/09: Timmy has been accepted to the boarding school. Now we have to fill out all the financial paperwork and hopefully get it covered. We committed to $100 a month! We don't know if we can do it or not!
Update 8/18/09: I enrolled Timmy in boarding school on Friday and worked out a payment arrangement of $125/month. He is now happily living in his dorm and going to school!
Anyway I've asked God if this is his will and to make it happen if it is. The boarding school is expensive but there is financial aid available, so maybe we can get it paid for. But I have to get all the paperwork in by Monday, and there is a lot to do.
Applicable scripture: Proverbs 3:6 - Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Update 6/29/09: I found out the paperwork actually doesn't have to be in until next Monday. I think the recruiter was putting a rush on it to make sure I got it done. But it is almost finished, and I'll have it in tomorrow. There is one problem: the old school refuses to forward his transcripts until we make payment arrangements for the past due school bill, and right now we have no idea how we will pay it.
Update 7/14/09: Timmy has been accepted to the boarding school. Now we have to fill out all the financial paperwork and hopefully get it covered. We committed to $100 a month! We don't know if we can do it or not!
Update 8/18/09: I enrolled Timmy in boarding school on Friday and worked out a payment arrangement of $125/month. He is now happily living in his dorm and going to school!
Prayer: Women's Ministries
I have felt led to become involved in Women's Ministries since last year. I haven't done it because I was afraid of taking on too much and becoming overwhelmed. But helping women is something I really want to do. I really am interested in starting a support group for domestic abuse victims. I've been thinking about this for some time. Last year the pastor told me who to get in touch with to get involved, but I don't remember the names of the people he gave me. I am sure I can find out if I ask around.
So just now I prayed that God will lead me as I start working with Women's Ministries, and that if this is what I am supposed to do, that he will make things happen for me in this ministry.
Applicable scripture: I Corinthians 12:4-11 - There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.
Update 6/29/09: On Sabbath I got a list of all the church officers and now I have the names of the people who are in charge of Women's Ministries. I'll talk to them next time at church.
Update 8/18/09: Two Sabbaths ago I spoke with the lady in charge of Women's Ministries and she said she wasn't doing anything with Women's Ministries right now but when she does, she will use me. Kind of dissappointing.
Update 8/29/09: Today I spoke with a latino man at church who has started a big ministry which reaches thousands of people. He has a website, a radio station, and he distributes copies of DVDs to people all over. He runs this ministry out of his basement on computers. He said today that he needed more workers. I felt led to offer help. I told him I am good with computers and would like to work with him. He is excited and I'm going over to his house tomorrow so he can show me everything. I mentioned that I wanted to reach domestic violence victims and he said we could post articles on the website and insert little blurbs about it on the radio station. So I think this is the way that God is leading me, that I will reach more people this way than working with Women's Ministries anyway. I have to go where I am needed. I wanted to do Women's Ministries, but that has not come through. God showed me where he wanted me. So this is where I'll go.
So just now I prayed that God will lead me as I start working with Women's Ministries, and that if this is what I am supposed to do, that he will make things happen for me in this ministry.
Applicable scripture: I Corinthians 12:4-11 - There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.
Update 6/29/09: On Sabbath I got a list of all the church officers and now I have the names of the people who are in charge of Women's Ministries. I'll talk to them next time at church.
Update 8/18/09: Two Sabbaths ago I spoke with the lady in charge of Women's Ministries and she said she wasn't doing anything with Women's Ministries right now but when she does, she will use me. Kind of dissappointing.
Update 8/29/09: Today I spoke with a latino man at church who has started a big ministry which reaches thousands of people. He has a website, a radio station, and he distributes copies of DVDs to people all over. He runs this ministry out of his basement on computers. He said today that he needed more workers. I felt led to offer help. I told him I am good with computers and would like to work with him. He is excited and I'm going over to his house tomorrow so he can show me everything. I mentioned that I wanted to reach domestic violence victims and he said we could post articles on the website and insert little blurbs about it on the radio station. So I think this is the way that God is leading me, that I will reach more people this way than working with Women's Ministries anyway. I have to go where I am needed. I wanted to do Women's Ministries, but that has not come through. God showed me where he wanted me. So this is where I'll go.
6.25.2009
Prayer: Work
Today I begged God to send me a good job. I was crying and everything. I was very upset because I was just let go at this last house I was working at, I was told because I wasn't "jelling" with the people I was caring for. Whatever. Anyway I know that I did a good job and was not negligent at all, so I'm not going to worry about why they let me go. I knew they were picky people to begin with, because they pretty much told me so. They said they had let a lot of caregivers go in the past because they weren't compatible. So this didn't come as a surprise. Actually, I'm glad because I didn't want to work there anyway because of the cats.
I'm going to have some boundaries for new jobs: no cats, no overnight shifts, and no male family members hanging around when the patient is asleep. They have no reason to come and visit if the person is asleep and I'm not comfortable being alone in a stranger's house with a strange man.
If I go to work for myself, I'm going to set up another limitation: 8-hour minimums. I can't stand 4 hour shifts. Having to drive an hour round trip for a 4 hour shift is not worth it.
I sent my application in for the caregiver list with the hospital last week, and I'm mailing in an ad for the Bulletin Board (local classifieds) tomorrow. I thought about Craigslist but they don't have a page for my area. I would have to commute. I decided I am not going to take some crappy job that I will hate just to have a job. I'm going to wait for the right job to come along and trust God that he will bring it to me.
Update 6/26/09: Applicable scripture: Psalm 37:3-5 - Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.
Today the hospital called me to tell me they received my application and I am now on the caregiver list! I think that is great they took the time to call me and tell me that! It is so nice to see that there are still people in the world that go the extra mile. I think it was a sign from God that I'll be getting a job soon.
Update 7/14/09 - Today was my first day back at work in three weeks. The only problem is that I have 10 hours this week. My plan is to take a CNA course next month and then get a job with another home health agency with hopefully full-time hours. I've done a lot of praying and I feel like this is the direction that God is leading me.
Update 8/06/09 - I got 26 hours this week. That's okay but not ideal. My husband, however, has been getting lots of metal to recycle. He's made over $1,000 in the past week! Hopefully, this will continue! In two weeks, I am going to start a class to become a "Personal Care Aid". The company that is giving the class said they may hire me once I have finished the course. I have a good feeling about it. The people were really friendly and acted like they were happy to see me when I walked in the door. Hopefully this will be the job for me.
Update 8/19/09 - The class didn't happen. They said they need 10 people to have the class and right now they only have 6. I asked them if they were hiring right now and they said no. But, I have a job interview with another agency on Monday. Hopefully I'll get the job and get back to work soon.
Update 08/29/09 - I had two job interviews this week and neither went well. One offered part-time hours and the other said I had to work on Sabbath which is a major NO. I was very angry about this, and I shouldn't have been, because I asked God to lead me to the right place and obviously neither one was the right place. Anyway, I am going to apply at another place tomorrow and see how that goes. Keep me in your prayers!
Update 09/03/09 - Finally got a job! I start Sept. 15th. I'll be a residential specialist at a group home for disabled adults. I'll basically be doing the same thing I'm doing now except I'll be taking care of 4 people instead of 1. It may be a little challenging, but I think I can handle it!
Update 09/21/09 - I started my job last week. So far it seems to be going well, but I'm still training. It seems a bit challenging, but I think I can handle it.
I'm going to have some boundaries for new jobs: no cats, no overnight shifts, and no male family members hanging around when the patient is asleep. They have no reason to come and visit if the person is asleep and I'm not comfortable being alone in a stranger's house with a strange man.
If I go to work for myself, I'm going to set up another limitation: 8-hour minimums. I can't stand 4 hour shifts. Having to drive an hour round trip for a 4 hour shift is not worth it.
I sent my application in for the caregiver list with the hospital last week, and I'm mailing in an ad for the Bulletin Board (local classifieds) tomorrow. I thought about Craigslist but they don't have a page for my area. I would have to commute. I decided I am not going to take some crappy job that I will hate just to have a job. I'm going to wait for the right job to come along and trust God that he will bring it to me.
Update 6/26/09: Applicable scripture: Psalm 37:3-5 - Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.
Today the hospital called me to tell me they received my application and I am now on the caregiver list! I think that is great they took the time to call me and tell me that! It is so nice to see that there are still people in the world that go the extra mile. I think it was a sign from God that I'll be getting a job soon.
Update 7/14/09 - Today was my first day back at work in three weeks. The only problem is that I have 10 hours this week. My plan is to take a CNA course next month and then get a job with another home health agency with hopefully full-time hours. I've done a lot of praying and I feel like this is the direction that God is leading me.
Update 8/06/09 - I got 26 hours this week. That's okay but not ideal. My husband, however, has been getting lots of metal to recycle. He's made over $1,000 in the past week! Hopefully, this will continue! In two weeks, I am going to start a class to become a "Personal Care Aid". The company that is giving the class said they may hire me once I have finished the course. I have a good feeling about it. The people were really friendly and acted like they were happy to see me when I walked in the door. Hopefully this will be the job for me.
Update 8/19/09 - The class didn't happen. They said they need 10 people to have the class and right now they only have 6. I asked them if they were hiring right now and they said no. But, I have a job interview with another agency on Monday. Hopefully I'll get the job and get back to work soon.
Update 08/29/09 - I had two job interviews this week and neither went well. One offered part-time hours and the other said I had to work on Sabbath which is a major NO. I was very angry about this, and I shouldn't have been, because I asked God to lead me to the right place and obviously neither one was the right place. Anyway, I am going to apply at another place tomorrow and see how that goes. Keep me in your prayers!
Update 09/03/09 - Finally got a job! I start Sept. 15th. I'll be a residential specialist at a group home for disabled adults. I'll basically be doing the same thing I'm doing now except I'll be taking care of 4 people instead of 1. It may be a little challenging, but I think I can handle it!
Update 09/21/09 - I started my job last week. So far it seems to be going well, but I'm still training. It seems a bit challenging, but I think I can handle it.
6.19.2009
Prayer: Work
I am still praying constantly for work. For next week, it looks like I do not have any hours. This is partly because of my cat allergies. All that is available (so I am told) is the house with cats. I worked two nights this week and my cat allergies were pretty unbearable. I took Benedryl, Sudafed, cough syrup and cough drops. I opened windows. I brought my own pillow.
I took initiative and applied at the hospital to be on the caregiver list. I hope I get a full-time job from that. But now I will have to tell my boss that I'm looking for another job because they will probably call her and ask for a reference. Then she may just mark me off the schedule completely. I guess it doesn't matter, since I'm not on the schedule this coming week anyway. I seriously can't afford this. My paycheck for the past two weeks was $133. I can't live on this income. How long am I supposed to wait around for the schedule to improve? I've waited two months and I'm seriously delinquent in almost all of my bills.
Applicable scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Update 6/21/09: I have some work this week, it is 21 hours and at the cat house but it is better than nothing. Praise the Lord for work!
I took initiative and applied at the hospital to be on the caregiver list. I hope I get a full-time job from that. But now I will have to tell my boss that I'm looking for another job because they will probably call her and ask for a reference. Then she may just mark me off the schedule completely. I guess it doesn't matter, since I'm not on the schedule this coming week anyway. I seriously can't afford this. My paycheck for the past two weeks was $133. I can't live on this income. How long am I supposed to wait around for the schedule to improve? I've waited two months and I'm seriously delinquent in almost all of my bills.
Applicable scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Update 6/21/09: I have some work this week, it is 21 hours and at the cat house but it is better than nothing. Praise the Lord for work!
6.15.2009
Prayer: Lawnmowing Job
Right now my husband is trying to get a lawnmowing job - it's just one lawn. It's someone who said she needed her lawn mowed and he's following up with her. He asked me to pray that he gets that job because we need the money. So I did.
Applicable scripture: I Kings 8:59 - And may these words that I have prayed in the presence of the Lord be before him constantly, day and night, so that the Lord our God may give justice to me and to his people Israel, according to each day's needs.
BTW, I learned about the prayer journal through my Sabbath school lessons from FAST Missions.
6/16/09: He didn't get the lawnmowing job last night. That's okay, I can't expect God to say yes to everything. The neighbors of the lady he was trying to talk to say she rarely answers the door and sits in her house and drinks all day by herself. That was the third time he'd been there trying to talk to her; I just told him to move on to new people.
Applicable scripture: I Kings 8:59 - And may these words that I have prayed in the presence of the Lord be before him constantly, day and night, so that the Lord our God may give justice to me and to his people Israel, according to each day's needs.
BTW, I learned about the prayer journal through my Sabbath school lessons from FAST Missions.
6/16/09: He didn't get the lawnmowing job last night. That's okay, I can't expect God to say yes to everything. The neighbors of the lady he was trying to talk to say she rarely answers the door and sits in her house and drinks all day by herself. That was the third time he'd been there trying to talk to her; I just told him to move on to new people.
6.14.2009
Prayer: Allergies
I have to go to work this afternoon. This house where I am working has cats which I am extremely allergic to. I just prayed that my allergies won't be so bad and that I won't be too nervous. I took a Benedryl and to combat the drowsiness I'm drinking an energy drink which gets me nervous. This house is also a very challenging house, with all the family members involved. Anyway I will look scriptures up later, (I don't know anything in the Bible that pertains to allergies) because I have to leave for work now.
8:32 PM: The allergies actually weren't that bad today. I started sneezing around 4:30, and I didn't want to take another Benedryl, so I took some Sudafed, and that cleared me up. I wasn't too nervous either. I was a little bit from the caffeine, but being such a short shift, it wasn't too overwhelming.
6/14/09: Applicable scripture - Isaiah 38:16 - Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You restore my health and allow me to live!
8:32 PM: The allergies actually weren't that bad today. I started sneezing around 4:30, and I didn't want to take another Benedryl, so I took some Sudafed, and that cleared me up. I wasn't too nervous either. I was a little bit from the caffeine, but being such a short shift, it wasn't too overwhelming.
6/14/09: Applicable scripture - Isaiah 38:16 - Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You restore my health and allow me to live!
6.13.2009
Prayer: Paying Tithe
Today I apologized for not tithing the past month or so, and asked God for the means to tithe, because at this point I don't have the money.
Applicable scripture: Malachi 3:8-12 - "Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! But you ask, "What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?' You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do," says the Lord of Heaven's Armies, I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease. Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe, says the Lord of Heaven's Armies. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight, " says the Lord of Heaven's Armies.
For all scriptures, I use the New Living Translation.
Applicable scripture: Malachi 3:8-12 - "Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! But you ask, "What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?' You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do," says the Lord of Heaven's Armies, I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease. Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe, says the Lord of Heaven's Armies. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight, " says the Lord of Heaven's Armies.
For all scriptures, I use the New Living Translation.
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